That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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