So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
