Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
