I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
