im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
