It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
