I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
