ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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