i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
