and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
