i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
