it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
