I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
