It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
