Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
