I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
