C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Randomize
