I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
