she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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