Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
