Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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