Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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