I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
