just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
