Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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