so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
