So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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