I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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