but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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