I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
