dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
