yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
