He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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