shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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