I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
