white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My ass is underappreciated
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
