at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she looked like the before picture.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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