38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
