is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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