thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
