i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
