you would pick up someone in the library
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
