i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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