question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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