The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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