i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
