Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
