As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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