she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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