Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am available for nakedness
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
